Quick Thinking From the XMen
by Cardigan of Fish
Summary: The X-Men are having to think fast to explain things like fur, claws and the like. Well, how I think they should explain it.


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Quick Thinking

Bought to you by…

The X-Men!

Hello, this is something new I've been working on, quick thinking excuses the X-Men and others use to explain things like fur, claws and the like.

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KURT

GIRL (*): Hey Kurt, why are you all furry?

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KURT: Er, I was playing with super glue and my dog started moulting on me, my blue dog. Yeah.

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GIRL: Blue?

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KURT:HAHAHAH! Joke. No, my NORMAL coloured dog moulted on me after I got coated in tar.

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GIRL: I thought you said you were playing with super glue?

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KURT: Er, bye!

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GIRL: He has a dog?

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Logan

DRUNK MAN: Heeeeeey! * Hic! * Wasssose claw things?

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LOGAN: Um…specialist knives, I'm a chef. Top chef.

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DRUNK MAN: What a coinci..coinci..coinci..

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LOGAN: Coincidence?

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DRUNK MAN: Yeah! Cos I'm a top chef too, * hic! *

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LOGAN: Er…actually, I'm not, I was playing a joke, they're hedge trimmers, let's change the subject now, look they're gone!

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DRUNK MAN: Whered ey go? * Hic! *

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LOGAN: Um…hey look! Free beer!

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DRUNK MAN: Where?

(Logan runs off, fast!)

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DRUNK MAN: Hey! Come back! * Hic! * Wheresa beer?

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Scott

GIRL: Hi Scott! Take your glasses off, I want to see your eyes!

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SCOTT: Yeah who doesn't, I AM pretty good looking, er, I mean no, I can't, no.

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GIRL: Oh comes on! Please! Why?

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SCOTT: Um, cos if I do the sunlight will enter my head and my brain will explode. Yeah. Blood everywhere. Not a pretty sight.

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GIRL: That's not what you said yesterday!

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SCOTT: Yeah well it only happens on Tuesdays.

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GIRL: But it's Wednesday!

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SCOTT: That's even worse! On Wednesdays I um, hmm, my ears explode. Yeah. Very rare condition.

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GIRL: Oh what's it called? My Dads a doctor he can explain it to me!

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SCOTT: You know what? I'm going to go over there now! Yeah. I need to talk to, who's that? Oh yeah, Snotty Bill. Ahem.

(He jumps in his car and drives off)

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Rogue

SOME PERSON: Hey Rogue, why can't I touch your skin?

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ROGUE: You can.

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SP: I can?!

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ROGUE: No, I was trying reverse psychology.

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SP: Oh, why can't I?

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ROGUE: Because.

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SP: Oh don't be so childish.

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ROGUE: You're calling me childish! That's so stupid! Hahahaha! Look how I laugh at you!

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SP: You didn't answer my question.

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ROGUE: Well you know that skin condition Michael Jackson supposedly has?

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SP: I think so….

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ROGUE: Well I have something like that. If you touch my skin I turn purple.

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SP: Wow, that must be hard! IF IT WAS TRUE!

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ROGUE: It is! Why does no one believe me!

(Runs off crying)

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Kurt Again

THAT ANNOYING GIRL AGAIN: Is that a TAIL?

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KURT: Of course not! Zat vould be stupid! Do I look like a monkey?

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TAGA: Well actually..

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KURT: Don't answer zat!

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TAGA: So explain the tail!

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KURT: It vas not a tail!

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TAGA: Ok then, what was it monkey boy!

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KURT: If you call me zat again I vill not tell you. 

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TAGA: Ok I won't call you that.

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KURT: Call me vat?

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TAGA: Monkey boy.

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KURT: YOU CALLED ME MONKY BOY AGAIN! I TELL YOU NOTHING!

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TAGA: Wha?

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KURT: Nah! I tell you nothing. Ok, it was a mirage. This er, tree has a big magnetic field thing that creates a lot of hallucinations, look! You have big ears!

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TAGA: No I don't!

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KURT: See vat I mean, bye!

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I did this in a moment of boredom. Not meant to be taken seriously I just got a bit bored with some of their lame excuses. This is what I'd have them say which is probably why I will never work on a cartoon like this. If you liked it tell me and I'll probably do a few more. If you hated it, well don't tell me. I'd like to be hopelessly unaware. What you don't know can't hurt you and all that.

(*) I can't remember any of the girls names that they start going out with, I last saw evo nearly 6months ago, darn Power Rangers.


End file.
